THE STORY
Monday, October 02, 2006
I wonder what was I thinking meeting someone at 11.45pm. May be I just got desperate to break free from all the "obeying" and "keeping stuff to myself". I've been controlling and "purify" words that come out from my mouth. Bottling up all the emotion inside of me. I have to admit that I haven't been that blunt with stuff I said lately. I wonder why I've been paying extra careful attn with the nice words I said. Well, I've been using a lot of them lately. Though at times I don't really mean it(I am well aware that I am a nasty bitch). I don't know why I just want to please other people some much, just to give them that smile and enjoy some "self-satisfactory".
When I received the message from Library Guy to meet at 11.45pm. I didn't have any second thoughts. I didn't ask for Mama or Baba's permission. I was more like telling them that I am going out.
The moment the clock almost strike midnight I just rush to the door and gave Baba some super lame excuse why I need to go out. Knowing that he is on a wheel chair and mama is half asleep I kinda run out of the house (they obviously cant stop me).
We sat under the clear night sky surrounded by mountains of concrete. I shut my eyes. Felling his arm around me. Gosh! I didn't know being so close to a 'stranger' could be that therapeutic. Though it was for a short while but I can feel the calmness thru out.
Ainnie J re-living Monday, October 02, 2006