I remember vividly the day i set at corner of the staircase..Feeling miserbale bocz i found out imran found my replacement rite after a wk we broke-up...n nicole was there..tellin me to calm down..n she said...aini i dont knw y imran is like that towards u..but all i can say that new girl in his life is nothing like u...n i dont knw in what aspect is she way different frm you...i just knw that info frm imran that she is diff frm u....
well now, since me n imran's new gf..iza is now talkin...as in like talkin to each other...i kinda get all those quest ansed...we might have some common interest but the way we deal with imran is so god damn obviously diff....now its crystal clear 2 me..one of thing i realise abt me n imran was how equal we were....but their relantionship...its kinda obvious to me how imran has the upper hand....n once she loses imran...she is not just lose him..but she gonna lose him and some whole lot of other stuff...well now,thinkin back i think the "girl power trait" tt was instill in me actully do both good n haem...the bad thing will be guys like imran will be put off by attitude coz everythin is like "balance" "equal" n theres NOT gonna be like "who's the man"..well lookin at it in a positive angle...hey GIRL power is uphold! Equality btw both sexes in my relantionship with imran..gosh! i made it sound so political
when i first had the convo with this iza girl....i dont knw to believe her or not..if she is NOT a liar den theres alot of stuff abt imran n my cousin nurul that i have learn...n if she IS...being untruthful to me....errmm let it be a burden to her on judgement day...coz i cldnt care less...but whatever it is..to me her motive will remain ambiguous for the time being..it really disturb me that she suddenly wanna be nice to me now.. suddenly wanna be my friend..y now..y now only u want to tell me all this...y not a year ago when i still can save my relantionship with him..well things always happen for a reason...i knw tt very well theres goin to be hikmah behind all this n i believe that for sure bcoz God is great he have everthin well planned for all of us
i heard imran hated the idea of us talkin to each other..well he shld actually coz his flaws really did surfaces....n its not only a few but theres tooooons...well no body is perfect....no question abt that...not only his mistakes..but my cousin also..nurul...all those things that happen when btw she n imran when i was in London when i heard they "bump" into each other..where they actually plan everything..woah!!! welll i learn the fact that they all good actors n actresses...ermm i ashame of what nurul did to me n how she manage to hide it frm me all this time coz i cant believe that i actually stood by her watchin out for her back and on the other hand she was eatin me alive..so much for sisterhood n family ties..BUT at the same time..i have no rights to say that i am ashame of my cousin coz i seriously DONT KNW if this iza is being honest or not..well let time tells it all..ermm honesty seems to non existance factor ard this pple i guess..so i cant tell who is honest n who is isnt....well anyway among them..there was this confusion which is..whether i am adopted or not..well..let me make this official..i am not even sure if i am adopted.. it doesnt matter coz my parents has brought me up as if i am their own
today, when i meet imran in sch..after my talk with iza...i no longer knw what to percieve him as...now "he is sham n he is scam" woah my impression of him really change over night...for abt 8 mths i battle it all out to get over him or even 4get him...but now it changes overnight...its like in blink of an eye..for now i have totally lost my respect for him n i see him as someone inferior n i dont even tresure the time we share coz i knw what he wanted frm me all along...n the word love wasnt even in the vocab of our relantionship..well mayb it does la..for the first year ONLY...everything after that was sham! n the huge mistake i did was to not stop loving him..even when i sense something isnt right...but now...ermm i think its impossible..i see him more of an animal who attacks his vunerable victims without feelin remorseful....but then again..i cant say that much coz its up to him to chose what he wanna be n do...hhmmm..besides like i said i dont knw if iza is telling me eveyrything truthfully or not...but i badly wanna believe all her bf bad qualities..opss i mean my ex bf also...well love is actually not blind..but we are just blinded by it
when i see iza..i badly want to believe almost everything she says..i conclude she is someone who is smart, a person with a heart but a lil bit naive n gullible..we just had an understandin n we found out how we were lied to..by imran nurul and all...well it doesnt matter to me now coz it already hurt me n i have recover frm it all..gosh she didnt even knw that imran n i just broke up abt a week when she started dating imran..woah so much for tust is base to evryhting when he actually is liar rite frm the start..honest...non-existance factor for their relationship i suppose...duhh..n now i cldnt careless.. i see her as how i see myself 2 yrs ago..carelessly, dangerously in love with imran (gosh i was sooo dumb !!) ..but thank God i was guarded with Iman...Praises to Allah swt...may she be too protected with strong Iman..so she wont do anything foolish..even if she does it already...too bad! well repent will be good for a start
at the end of it all i dont knw to believe if my cousin betrayed me or not..but i really dont want to coz i treat her like my own sis..i still hope she wont let me down again...but for imran erm...it doesnt matter..coz the fact doesnt change..that i have a lost a certain degree of respect for him..after the break up i still wanna continue to look up to him n respect him just as much as i use to..bcoz takin it frm a positive aspect..we broke up that doesnt me he is not a good person..but after knwing almost "everything" he did to me..all the lies the betrayal the skiming n cheating...i dont knw..i think he is more of a disappointment..but as time changes..i'll nvr knw...but may Allah swt blessin be with him...as for iza i just hope that she is careful while playin whit fire..coz i knw she wont let it go..just pray hopefully she wont get burn herself coz i knw the fact that she is semi-burned already